Pencils
by Cap10
Summary: The Ancient base in Antarctica is a wonderful places to be a scientist, unless you are not allowed to touch anything. Bored scientist equal pranks and who is better to pull pranks on then the Head of Science and the Chief Medical Officer? One Shot.


**Author's note**-_I do not own Stargate Atlantis or its characters or NUMA, but I am happily the owner of the HOG Team._

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To be honest there is only so many things you can in during the Antarctica winter and it doesn't help that you are a cover story. The hydrology, oceanography, and geology team, HOG Team as General O'Neil had so nicknamed them, was the official cover for the excavation project. The twenty or so members of the HOG Team would probably be fine with the position except they really were not aloud to do anything. They weren't even allowed to carry around boxes, that job went to the helpless marines. That meant that they were stuck staring at computer screens looking at data someone else had collected and making graphs. As fun as graphs are, they were getting bored. Bored scientists are a bad thing.

"Wage, what are you working on?"

"Nothing really, Albert." Dr. Jason Wage, geologist, was happily typing on his computer.

"Come on Wage. You have to be doing something. You have been quiet for a half hour." Dr. Albert Johnston was reading through reports.

"Actually I have been writing Star Trek fan fictions. I already finished doing reading through the papers they sent us from NUMA."

"But we just got those papers yesterday, and why didn't you tell me you wrote fan fictions?"

"You don't like Star Trek."

"I know, but right now I think I might end up sitting down and reading them."

"You must be getting cabin fever. You are starting to get stir crazy."

"Who knows?"

"Yea. Hey do you know if Henry managed to get the snow cat for bird watching." Looking at penguins then camping next to the Emperor Penguins. It wasn't the type of camping most people were interested in, but at this point it would be good to get away from the engineers, linguists and astrophysicist. After all they weren't really scientists.

"It wasn't important enough. I think they are bringing some more military people. I have nothing against them; after all we do have two militaryish people in our group."

"Is militaryish people even a word, but I get your idea. Well if we can't go bird watching we are going to have to figure out something to do."

"We could watch the Battlestar Galactica again."

"You won't watch Star Trek with me, but you want to watch Battlestar Galactica?"

"Well you know nerds watch Star Wars, true nerds watch Star Trek, and super nerds watch Battlestar Galactica."

"Let's do something else, maybe a group activity. We can get to know your militaryish people."

"Do you think they are good at pulling pranks?"

"Why don't we find out?"

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Timothy Hendricks was staring at the ceiling while Eric Cooper was trying to get his paper airplanes to land in the empty trash can. Even though Eric was a good shot with a gun he was showing that he was bad at making paper airplanes. He hadn't got any in. Well they had time. They had had lost of time ever since they had been assigned to the out post, well they were more on lone from NUMA. True it was cool to hang out in an ancient space base, but even that gets old when you aren't allowed to touch anything. They were Navy SEALS they were some of the top people in the military, where did it get Eric and him, stuck on a pretending to be on a project that didn't really exist.

"Um, are we interrupting anything." Tim looked up to see two people standing at the door. It was the geologist with the New Zealand patch on the shoulder of his uniform.

"If we are we can leave." The other geologist spoke up.

"No you're not interrupting anything." Tim sat up on the floor.

"Um, well we are on your team, my name is Jason Wage and this is Albert. And we have kind of been bored out of our minds, so we were wondering if you wanted to help us on a project." The geologist with the New Zealand patch said nervously.

"What did you have in mind? We are some what limited on base." Eric perked up interested.

"We were thinking maybe we should mix things up. I am sure that some of the people are also bored on base, maybe we can add a little spice to everyone's life." Albert Johnston explained.

"We're listening." Tim leaned forward and Wage began laying out the plan.

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Dr. Carson Beckett was organizing his office again, when a young scientist came in complaining from a headache. It turned out to be a basic stress headache he had sent the geologist with a small bottle of Tylenol and told him to relax for an afternoon. When he turned around and went back to his desk he found his pencil holder empty. Yes, Carson was very good at misplacing pens and pencils, but a whole pencil holder full? Well he must be going for a record. Beckett opened his desk and pulled out another box of pencils and started sharpening them.

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Dr. Ryan Eaton kept on forgetting to eat, but he didn't care anymore. He had been studying the stars for days on end and he was exhausted. He just wanted to get to his quarters and curl up in the blankets. When he opened up the door to his quarter he didn't bother turning on the lights until his foot hit a pile of squishy of stuff. He quickly flipped on the lights temporally blinding himself. When he finally blinked the dots from his eyes he realized he had stepped into a large pile of power bars. Ryan collected the large pile of food and placed it on his desk trying to figure out who had left them.

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Dr. Rodney Mckay was ready to sleep. In his opinion he had gotten nowhere today. He had spent the entire time correcting other people's mistakes. When he stopped into his quarters he looked at his small bookshelf and noticed something wrong. To his great annoyances he books were all perfectly neat, but in alphabetical order by author. He then spent the next few hours reorganizing them alphabetically title.

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"I think that mission was a success." Wage stretched in on the couch.

"Yea, that was kind of fun." Albert admitted.

"It was fun, but if we want to do this again we are going to have to change tactics." Eric commented.

"Like what?"

"For one Albert, you can't just swipe the pencils when you are in the sickbay with a headache, Dr. Beckett has to be smart or he won't be here and I don't think Dr. Mckay will buy the security camera's stopped working very often."

"What about Dr. Eaton?" Wage asked.

"I honestly think he is so exhausted from looking at the stars he won't have time to track us down, but we will want to be careful." Tim offered. "Now how are we going to cover our tracks?"

"What if we did the whole office ninja thing? You know from Albert offered.

"I saw that one." Eric said. "But personally I like the evil penguins better."

"That is a great video."

Wage coughed. "Okay if we are going to be taking about internet movies I personally use You Tube, but maybe we should get back to the subject. What if we created a loop on the video cameras, like they do on the spy movies?"

"That probably would work great if we could get someone good with computers on the team." Tim agreed.

"That won't be any problem." Albert smiled like a Cheshire cat. "It turns out we have a computer scientist on the HOG Team and she love a challenge. I believe you have already met Celia."

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An hour and a half later they were in Celia Krauss's lab area.

"Please Celia. It will be fun." Wage pleated.

"I am not interested in helping you annoy members on the expedition for your own pleasure." She replied sharply.

"Celia it is not for our pleasure. It is for our sanity and it is not like we are hurting anyone we are just livening up the place. Think about it, what is the worst think that could happen if you help us?"

"I could get stuck here." She said flatly.

"Exactly, the best you might get sent home, but either way you can do constructive work. We don't have that option. Please help us, this ice wasteland is about to drive us nuts." Wage put on his best puppy dog face.

"Fine." Celia "I don't know how you talk me into doing this type of things, Wage but you owe me big. I expect payment in Snickers."

"You shall receive it." Wage bowed his way out of the door followed quickly by the others. As soon as the door was closed and they were safely down the hall Wage let out a whop. "See I told you she would do it. Now all we have to do is get the ropes ready. We are heading into the vents."

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"Elizabeth!!!" Dr. Rodney Mckay stormed into Dr. Weir's offices for the ninth time in the past week. Weir gave him a mildly annoyed glare and turned back to Dr. Carson Beckett who was sitting in the chair in front of him.

"Carson, continue." Weir motioned to Dr. Beckett.

"We are going to have to find a new earth science leader. After all Dr. Glade is dealing with sever seasonal depression disorder. The psychologist Kate Heightmeyer wants to send him to McMurdo on the next snow cat."

"Do you feel like this is best?"

"Aye, he is clearly not in a state to lead a science team."

"I will complete the necessary paperwork and arrange for new team leader, although we will probably be assigned one."

"Who cares?" Mckay commented. "It is not like that team does anything."

"Rodney." Weir gave him her 'you are not involved with this conversation.' "Anything else?"

"Um, would you mind if you put in another order for pencils."

"This is your third order this winter."

"Aye. I don't know where they are disappearing to."

"Do you have a comment, Rodney?" Weir turned to Mckay who was standing in the doorway fidgeting.

"They have done it again!"

"What Rodney?" Carson asked confused.

"They did it again. They reorganized my bookshelf."

"Did you try changing your lock?"

"Yes. I tried that several times. I have an electronic lock on the thing currently that is programmed to my voice."

"They did what?" Carson puzzled.

"They reorganized my bookshelf."

"From what, lad?"

"From the order it is suppose to be in. They defiled my books. They put it alphabetical order by author."

"Well what order do you keep it in?"

"Alphabetical by title, of course." Mckay relied as if offended. Weir gave him an understanding look, after all Rodney had run into her office at odd hours when he discovered his bookshelf in disorder. Beckett wished he had never asked.

"I am sorry, Rodney. There is really nothing I can do. You can either figure out a way to prevent people from getting into your quarters or you can live with your bookshelf arranged by author." Mckay huffed and stormed out. "Dr. Beckett I will work on getting a Dr. Glad back to McMurdo as well as find you some more pencils, if you will try not to lose anymore."

Carson nodded and headed towards the infirmary. Leaving Weir to try to fill out the paperwork.

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Antarctic spring came and the sun started to peak over the horizon. The new chief of the HOG Team came to replaces Henry Glade. She stepped off of the helicopter pulling off her sunglasses.

"Hello, Dr. Thomason? I am Dr. Elizabeth Weir, leader of the expedition. I appreciate you coming down on such short notice. The past person in your position ran into medical problems."

"Yes, I am Dr. Rebecca Thomason, but call me Bec. I am glad to be here. May I meet my team?"

"Certainly. Follow me." Weir guided Bec into the dome. On the surfaces there was a set of building similar to the old Amundsen-Scott South Pole Station. "So how did you get chosen for this position?"

"I was pulled from the National Underwater and Marine Agency, NUMA's Naquada project. Apparently they urgently needed a replacement for your 'drilling for deep ice cores to understand ancient climate change.' I was available, had high enough clearances, and needed to leave D.C. for personal reasons."

"I have read through your file. It was very impressive. You have already been through the stargate twice."

"I have spent three weeks at the alpha site. I am one of those scientists that gets swiped every time they government is convinced Earth might get destroyed. That is one of the reasons I have such high clearances, the other reason is I was on a team that designs may of the scanners used to detect naquada and other useful minerals off world."

"That is very interesting. I am glad to have you on our team." Dr. Weir was a bit unsure what to say to this new woman. She one of the few civilians on base that Weir didn't pick. "Well here we are. This is the HOG Team lab; your team should arrive shortly."

Weir left Bec in the small lab spaces. Bec found a seat in the corner and sat down her large green and purple mega duffle. It didn't take long for her team to arrive, but they did have a strange way of making an entrance. There was some thumping above her then some muffled laughter. Bec looked around her to see were the sound was coming from, and then she looked up at the vents. The cover was not screwed on, so she pushed the chair over and peeked over the lip of the vent. The glare of a flashlight hit her in they eyes, she squinted and could see several people crawling in the vent.

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Tim froze when he saw a woman's head rise into the vent and looked at him.

"Are you supposed to be in there?" She asked sharply.

"Um."

"That is what I thought. May I also assume that some of you are the HOG Team?"

"Yes." Tim admitted some what timidly to the stranger.

"What I have I gotten myself into?" The woman muttered under her breath. "Well you better come down I need to speak to you."

"Why would you need to speak to us?"

"Simple I am Dr. Glade's replacements and I am betting you are the people who are causing all of the pranks, you are notorious across the continent. Apparently word of you reorganizing the one Dr. Mckay's bookshelf has reached the SGC."

Before Tim Hendricks could make another comment the woman head disappear down the vent again. "What, you haven't told us your name yet."

"It's Bec."

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It ended up being Bec Thomason who carried a large of pen, pencils, and markers to the infirmary and handed it of to Dr. Beckett who looked at her confused. She then when to her next stop, Mckay's quarters were she left a note with a few chocolate bars. She didn't feel a real need to apologies to Dr. Eaton, because apparently all he had been eating for dinner was the power bars left in his quarters. Then she headed back to the HOG Team lab.

"Boys." She said staring at them from the door as they sat in their swivel chairs. "What do you have to say for yourselves?"

"Sorry?" Wage said timidly.

"You should be." Bec said pointedly. "Now I have apologized for you. I have also talked to Dr. Weir and she is not going to discharge you for your antics." There was a sigh of relief. "But that still leaves the question of punishment."

"What?" Albert said.

"Yes punishment. Seeing that the four of you seem to love to hanging out in the vents, you will help to clean them." There was a groan. "Don't complain, it is no fault but you own. Now Celia Krauss, you are going to be working in the labs."

"Why does she get to hang out in the lab?" Albert complained.

"What until I finish. Celia you will be working into the lab, with Dr. Mckay. He has sprained his wrist and you will _volunteer_ to type for him." Bec said firmly. Everyone stared at there new leader stunned. "Well you better get to bed. You are going to start working first thing in the morning."

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April first on Atlantis many people woke up to surprises. Celia found a king size Snickers on her desk, while Bec found the door played 'Ding, Dong the Witch is Dead' every time she walked out of the lab. Dr. Beckett walked into his offices to find a very large box of pencils with his old cracked pencil holder perched on top.

There were also a lot of surprises when people walked into their quarters that night. Sheppard found his bed attached to the ceiling. Dr. Eaton found a large pile of power bar wrappers at his door. And Tim, Eric, Wage, and Albert almost swore that they could hear Mckay yell when he entered his quarters. After all his perfectly neat bookshelf was now organize by color.

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**Author's note**-_I am starting something new in the Author's Note. For short stories I am starting a ask Bec section. If you have any questions you would like to ask Bec or any member of the HOG Team add it into your review. They will be answered some of them in the next short story. Thank you to Reefgirl who was willing to do the first question. _

_**Reefgirl**-What are your favorite foods?_

_**Bec**-I don't know if I am the right person to answer this question so I will pass it on. Yoko, why don't you take this one?_

_**Yoko**-Chocolate!!!_

_**Bec**-Yoko._

_**Yoko**-Um, sorry. Well I like chocolate, Bec doesn't because she is allergic. She likes cheesecake. Jason Wage love lasagna and is depressed that you can't get it in the Pegasus Galaxy. Albert Johnston on the other hand likes good Mexican. Linda Volk like sushi, the real stuff. The other person who likes fish is Eric Cooper. He likes swordfish; he is also the only person who I know likes anchovies. Tim Hendricks likes to eat steak, isn't that total typical. Um, who am I missing? Oh, Celia Krauss likes pineapple and Larry Allred enjoys a good cup of coffee. Lastly I like chocolate._

_**Cap10**-Well thank you for reading, and a reminder if you would like your question answered tell me. We will be bringing another Ask Bec column in the next short story. _


End file.
